In searching for a more accurate name for the "D" word - that is, derivatives - a Goldman, Sachs & Co. executive suggested the acronym PICKLES.
An analyst with Jeffrey Slocum & Associates Inc. recommended a more serious "cantilevered gearings."
These were just two of a multitude of proposals - others included BARINGS, BOMBS and ORANGES - in a contest sponsored by the Clifton Group Investment Management Co., Minneapolis.
Clifton invited submissions for the contest to seek suggestions on a new term for derivatives.
Among the entries, Robert A. Brock, vice president in the Chicago office of Goldman Sachs, came up with PICKLES - Protected Investments Carefully Krafted to Limit Exposures.
Vishant R. Shah, an analyst with Slocum, proposed "cantilevered gearings."
Explaining it, he "noted that 'cantilevered' is appropriate because derivatives are simply an efficient extension of traditional portfolios," according to the Clifton results.
"*'Gearings' is indicative of the fact that derivative securities can be finely tuned to either gear up (i.e., lever), gear down (i.e., hedge) or simply replicate the risk inherent in traditional securities," according to the results.
Peter Krones of First Institutional Securities L.L.C., Clifton, N.J., suggested BARINGS, for Botched Auditing Resulting in Imploding Shares.
His colleague at First Institutional, David Quinn, entered BOMBS, an acronym for Bloody Outrageous Maliciously Ballistic Securities.
The Clifton's Group own entry, from Jay H. Strohmaier, vice president, was ORANGES, for Original Ridiculous Adventure by a Naive Government Executive.
Who took the prize?
Clifton awarded the first-place gift certificate and golf balls to Mr. Shah of Slocum.
Mr. Brock of Goldman Sachs won the second-place ribbon for his proposal.